As I entered college and my negative tendencies began to reassert themselves I knew I needed to change something. However, I had no idea where to start. So I set an appointment with one of the school counselors and figured I'd ask them what I could do.
It's funny, looking back I don't know what I was expecting. Was I expecting them to say "tell yourself I'm a positive person three times a day and you'll be fine." I didn't realize then as I know now the true work it takes to change a soul.
The day of my appointment came and I say down in the mans office. His name escapes me now but I still remember the office. Surfing pictures on the wall, a window looking onto an ivy filled wall, piles and piles of books everywhere. I told him what I wanted to do and change. He listened, nodded his head and then gave me the truth. "I don't think you'll ever be a optimist, the best you could achieve is probably a realist."
I was not expecting this response. I don't remember what I said or did, I just remember how I felt. Deflated quite a bit, but deep down a fire started. You know the fire. The one that starts when someone says you can't do something. The fire of true change and challenge. I left his office with the thought, 'I will show this man how wrong he is.'
Looking back I've wondered if maybe he did know what he was doing. Maybe he purposefully said I couldn't do it, knowing this would make me only try harder. Either way my journey towards true change had begun.
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